Why Do Your Best Stylists Keep Leaving for Salons That Pay Less?

Your best stylist just gave notice. She's leaving for a salon that pays less commission than you do. How does that even make sense?

A salon owner named Lauren experienced exactly this. Her top stylist quit. Third one in eight months.

"She's going to a salon that pays 5% less commission," Lauren said, devastated. "Why would she take less money?"

Lauren owns a salon in Massachusetts. Seven chairs. Beautiful space. Competitive pay. But she couldn't keep stylists.

"What did she say when she quit?" I asked Lauren.

"That she needed a more positive environment," Lauren said. "What does that even mean? I'm positive. I throw birthday parties. We do team dinners."

Lauren thought culture meant being nice and doing fun activities. It doesn't.

"Tell me about your last week," I said.

Lauren described chaos. Two stylists not speaking to each other over a client dispute. One stylist constantly late. Another one monopolizing the break room complaining about everything. Front desk staff feuding over schedule preferences.

"Did you address any of this?" I asked.

"I tried," Lauren said. "But I don't want to be the bad guy. I want everyone to be happy."

That's the problem. Lauren wanted to be liked. Her top stylist wanted to work somewhere with standards.

"Your stylist left for less money because she was tired of the drama," I told Lauren. "Birthday parties don't fix that."

Let me show you what actually creates culture worth staying for.

What Actually Is Culture?

Lauren thought culture was about being nice. Having fun. Keeping everyone happy.

I had another salon owner, Marcus, with the same confusion. He'd lost four stylists in six months.

"I don't get it," Marcus said. "We're like a family here."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"We're close," Marcus said. "We hang out outside of work. We care about each other."

"Do you have any standards for how people treat each other?" I asked.

"Standards?" Marcus looked confused.

"Like what happens when two stylists have conflict?" I asked.

"They work it out," Marcus said.

"How?" I pressed.

"I don't know," Marcus admitted. "I stay out of it. I don't want to take sides."

That was the problem. Marcus thought culture was about closeness. Actually, culture is about standards.

When there are no standards, the worst behavior sets the culture. The stylist who gossips. The one who's always late. The one who treats the front desk rudely. That becomes the norm.

A third salon owner, Stephanie, had the opposite problem. She had lots of rules but terrible culture.

"I have a 50-page employee handbook," Stephanie told me proudly. "Everything is documented."

"How's your retention?" I asked.

"Terrible," Stephanie admitted. "Stylists say I'm too controlling."

Stephanie thought culture was about rules. It's not. It's about values.

Rules tell people what NOT to do. Values tell people what TO do.

Lauren had no standards (chaos). Marcus had closeness without standards (conflict avoidance). Stephanie had rules without values (control).

None of them had actual culture.

What Changed When Lauren Fixed This?

Lauren and I worked together for six months. We didn't throw better parties. We built actual culture.

First, we defined values. Not fluffy words. Specific behaviors.

Instead of "Respect," we wrote: "We address conflicts directly with the person involved. We never gossip."

Instead of "Excellence," we wrote: "We show up on time, prepared, and focused. We don't make excuses."

Instead of "Teamwork," we wrote: "We help each other without being asked. We celebrate each other's wins."

"This feels harsh," Lauren said.

"It's not harsh," I said. "It's clear. Now everyone knows what you stand for."

Second, we addressed the drama. Lauren had been avoiding it for months.

The two stylists not speaking? Lauren called a meeting.

"I don't care what the conflict was about," Lauren told them. "You have two options. Work it out directly with each other following our values. Or one of you needs to find another salon."

"That's so confrontational," Lauren worried after.

"Did they work it out?" I asked.

"Yes," Lauren admitted. "They talked that afternoon. Problem solved."

The chronically late stylist? Lauren had a conversation.

"Being on time is one of our core values," Lauren said. "You've been late four times this month. That stops now or you can't work here."

The stylist was shocked. But she stopped being late.

The complainer? Lauren addressed it.

"Your negativity is affecting the team," Lauren told her. "Either contribute positively or this isn't the right place for you."

That stylist quit. Best thing that happened.

"I felt terrible," Lauren told me. "But the whole salon felt lighter the next day."

Third, we hired for values. Lauren's next hire, she interviewed differently.

"Tell me about a time you had conflict with a coworker," became her first question.

One candidate blamed everyone else. Red flag. Lauren didn't hire her.

Another candidate took ownership. Described how she addressed it directly. Hired on the spot.

Six months later, Lauren hadn't lost a single stylist. First time in two years.

"I have a waitlist of stylists who want to work here now," Lauren told me. "They've heard from my team that we don't tolerate drama."

That's what actual culture creates.

What About Being "Like a Family"?

Marcus's "family" culture was enabling dysfunction. Families have unconditional love. Businesses need conditional employment.

"We don't fire people here," Marcus told me. "We're loyal to each other."

"Even when they're toxic?" I asked.

Marcus hesitated. "It feels wrong to give up on someone."

"You're not giving up," I said. "You're protecting the people who ARE meeting your standards."

Marcus had a stylist who was consistently negative. Complained about everything. Brought the team down.

"How long has she been doing this?" I asked.

"Two years," Marcus admitted.

"And how many good stylists have left in that time?" I pressed.

Marcus thought about it. "Four."

"So by keeping one toxic person, you've lost four good ones," I said. "That's bad math."

Marcus had a conversation with the negative stylist. Gave her clear feedback and 30 days to improve.

She didn't improve. He let her go.

"It was the hardest thing I've ever done," Marcus told me. "But the team thanked me. They'd been suffering for two years."

Within three months, Marcus hired two new stylists. Both high performers. Both attracted by the improved culture.

"I thought family meant never letting anyone go," Marcus said. "I was wrong. Real leadership is protecting the team from people who hurt the team."

What About Having Too Many Rules?

Stephanie's 50-page handbook was killing her culture. Nobody read it. Nobody followed it. It just made her seem controlling.

"Let's start over," I told Stephanie.

We threw out the handbook. Created five core values instead.

• We own our mistakes and learn from them
• We communicate directly and respectfully
• We put clients first, always
• We show up prepared and focused
• We lift each other up

"That's it?" Stephanie asked. "Five things?"

"Five things everyone can remember and follow," I said.

Stephanie was skeptical. But we implemented them.

Every team meeting started with a story about someone living one of the values. Every one-on-one included feedback on how the stylist was embodying the values. Every hiring decision was based on whether the candidate demonstrated the values.

"This is so much simpler," Stephanie said after two months. "And people are actually doing it."

Her retention improved. Stylists stopped saying she was controlling.

"Turns out people don't mind high standards," Stephanie told me. "They just hate arbitrary rules."

What Actually Matters?

After working with dozens of salon owners on culture, here's what I've learned:

Culture isn't about being nice or having fun. Lauren threw birthday parties while tolerating drama = top stylists left for less money. Marcus was "close like family" while avoiding conflict = lost 4 good stylists keeping 1 toxic one. Stephanie had 50-page handbook = stylists felt controlled. None had actual culture.

Culture is about clear behavioral standards. Lauren defined specific values (address conflict directly not gossip, show up on time not make excuses, help without being asked). Marcus learned "family loyalty" enabling dysfunction = protecting toxic hurts good performers. Stephanie's 5 values everyone could follow > 50-page handbook nobody read.

Addressing drama is protecting culture not being mean. Lauren confronted non-speaking stylists ("work it out or one of you leaves"), confronted chronic lateness (stopped immediately), confronted negativity (stylist quit, "salon felt lighter next day"). Marcus let go toxic stylist after 2 years ("team thanked me, had been suffering").

Hiring for culture fit prevents future problems. Lauren's new interview question about conflict revealed blamers vs. owners. Marcus's new hires attracted by improved culture (high performers want standards). Stephanie's values-based hiring vs. rule-based hiring.

Simple clear values > complex rule books. Stephanie's 5 values remembered and followed > 50-page handbook ignored. Lauren's specific behavioral values (what TO do) > vague words like "respect." Marcus's clear standards > unconditional "family loyalty."

Lauren: 6 months no turnover (first time 2 years), waitlist of stylists wanting to work there. "They've heard we don't tolerate drama."

Marcus: Let go 1 toxic after 2 years, hired 2 high performers in 3 months. "Real leadership is protecting team from people who hurt team."

Stephanie: Retention improved, stylists stopped saying controlling. "People don't mind high standards. Just hate arbitrary rules."

All of them said the same thing: "I thought culture was about being nice/close/having rules. Actually it's about clear behavioral standards consistently enforced."

Ready to build culture that keeps your best stylists instead of losing them to lower-paying salons? 

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