Why Does Your Team Keep Testing You (And How Do You Fix It Without Becoming the Bad Guy)?

You know that feeling. Sunday night rolls around and instead of relaxing, you're already dreading Monday. Maybe it's the stylist who strolls in ten minutes late every single day. Maybe it's the one who has something negative to say about every policy change. Or maybe it's the two people on your team who can't be in the same room without some kind of tension that everyone else has to tiptoe around.

And you keep avoiding the conversations because you don't want to be that owner. The mean one. The one who kills the vibe.

So you let it slide. Again.

I did this for years. I told myself I was being a good leader by keeping the peace. But here's what I eventually realized: I wasn't keeping the peace. I was just letting my best people suffer while my worst people ran the show.

That's not leadership. That's surrender.

The Moment Everything Changed for Me

I had a stylist named Tanya who was incredible behind the chair. Clients loved her. Her technical work was flawless. But she was also the center of every single conflict in my salon.

If someone got a walk-in she thought should have been hers, there was drama. If I changed the schedule, she had opinions she shared loudly in front of everyone. If a newer stylist was getting attention for their work, Tanya found ways to undercut them.

I kept her around because she was talented and because confronting her felt like it would blow everything up.

Then one of my best stylists, a woman named Keisha who had been with me for three years, gave her notice. When I asked why, she said, "Nick, I love this salon, but I can't work with Tanya anymore. And I don't think you're ever going to do anything about it."

That hit me hard. Because she was right.

I had been so focused on avoiding one uncomfortable conversation that I lost someone who actually made my business better. That's when I realized that avoiding accountability doesn't prevent drama. It guarantees it.

Accountability Is Not What You Think It Is

Here's where most salon owners get this wrong. They think accountability means watching everyone like a hawk, correcting every little thing, and being on people constantly. That's not accountability. That's micromanagement, and it will drive your best stylists out the door faster than anything else.

Real accountability is about clarity, not control.

Think about it this way. If I tell you "sell more retail," what does that even mean? More than what? By when? How much more? That's not an expectation. That's a vague wish.

But if I say "I need you to hit a 15% retail-to-service ratio by the end of next month, and here's why that matters for your income and for the salon," now we're talking. Now you know exactly what success looks like. Now I can actually hold you to something specific.

The difference between accountability and micromanagement comes down to this: accountability focuses on outcomes and lets your team figure out how to get there. Micromanagement obsesses over every step of the process and treats adults like children.

Your A-players want accountability. They want to know what winning looks like. They want clear targets they can hit and recognition when they hit them. What they don't want is someone breathing down their neck telling them how to hold their scissors.

Why Your Team Needs to Feel Safe Enough to Screw Up

I know this sounds backwards, but stay with me.

I worked with a salon owner named Victor last year who couldn't figure out why his team never brought him ideas or told him about problems until they were full-blown emergencies. Every issue was a surprise. Every mistake got hidden until it was too late to fix easily.

When I spent time in his salon, I figured out why pretty quickly. Whenever someone made a mistake, Victor's reaction was intense. Not abusive or anything, but you could feel the disappointment radiating off him. People learned that bringing him bad news meant getting that look, that tone, that energy.

So they stopped bringing him bad news. They just tried to cover things up and hope for the best.

Here's what I told Victor: your team will only be as honest with you as they feel safe being. If admitting a mistake means getting shamed, they'll hide mistakes. If bringing you a problem means getting blamed for the problem, they'll let problems fester.

You build that safety by how you respond when things go wrong. When a stylist messes up a color, do they feel like they can come to you and say "I need help fixing this"? Or do they try to hide it and hope the client doesn't complain?

The first reaction builds trust and solves problems fast. The second one creates callbacks, bad reviews, and a team that operates on fear instead of ownership.

I'm not saying you ignore mistakes. I'm saying you respond to them with curiosity instead of fury. "What happened? How can we fix it? What do we need to change so this doesn't happen again?" That's the energy that builds a team that actually tells you the truth.

The Framework That Makes Expectations Crystal Clear

After the situation with Tanya and Keisha, I knew I needed a system. I couldn't just wing it anymore. So I developed what I call the 5 C's, and it's become the foundation of how I teach salon owners to set and enforce expectations.

1. Clarity — Be specific. Painfully specific. Not "be more professional" but "arrive at your station ready to work five minutes before your first client." Not "improve your rebooking" but "hit 85% rebooking rate by the end of this month."
2. Commitment — Don't just tell them what you expect. Ask them if they can commit to it. "Is this something you can commit to?" That one question transforms your expectation into their goal. It's not you dictating anymore. It's them agreeing to a standard.
3. Communication — Schedule the check-ins before you need them. "Let's connect for ten minutes every Friday to look at your numbers and see where you might need support." This is how you verify without hovering. It's planned, not reactive.
4. Collaboration — Ask what they need from you. "What tools or training would help you hit this goal?" This shows you're in it together. You're not just setting targets and walking away. You're invested in their success.
5. Consequences — Define the stakes upfront. Both directions. "When the team hits our retail goal this quarter, we're investing in that balayage workshop everyone's been asking about. For anyone who's consistently missing their individual targets, we'll put together a one-on-one improvement plan." No surprises. Everyone knows the game.

How to Have the Conversation You've Been Avoiding

Most salon owners avoid difficult conversations because they don't know how to have them without it turning into a fight. I get it. I avoided them for years too. But here's what I've learned: the conversation you're avoiding is usually the most important one you need to have.

The key is preparation. Don't just walk up to someone when you're frustrated and start venting. That's not a conversation. That's an ambush.

Before you say anything, get clear on three things. What specific behavior are you addressing? What's the impact of that behavior? What outcome do you want from this conversation?

Here's the process I use now:

1. Start with a question, not an accusation — "I noticed your rebooking numbers dropped to 60% last month. Help me understand what's going on there." This opens a dialogue instead of putting them on the defensive. Maybe there's context you don't have. Maybe they're dealing with something. Maybe they genuinely didn't realize there was an issue.
2. Acknowledge what you hear — Even if you disagree, show them you actually listened. "Okay, so you're feeling like clients are pushing back when you try to rebook them. I hear that."
3. Share your perspective — Use "I" statements so it doesn't feel like an attack. "From where I sit, rebooking is one of the most important things we do because it's what keeps everyone's books full and income stable."
4. Problem-solve together — "What if we worked on some different language for handling those pushback moments? I've got some approaches that have worked for other stylists. Want to try them?" This isn't soft. It's strategic. You're addressing the issue directly while keeping the person engaged instead of defensive.

Make Performance Visible So It's Not Personal

One of the best things I ever did was start tracking key metrics where everyone could see them. Not to shame anyone, but to make the conversation about data instead of feelings.

When you can point to a number on a board and say "we're at 75% rebooking and our goal is 85%, what do we need to do differently?" it's a totally different conversation than "I feel like you're not trying hard enough."

This doesn't have to be complicated. A whiteboard in the back with weekly numbers works fine. The point is making performance objective and transparent so everyone knows where they stand.

Your A-players will love this because they want to see their wins. Your underperformers won't be able to hide anymore. And your conversations shift from emotional to factual.

Questions I Get About This All the Time

What do I do when someone gets defensive during feedback?

Stay calm and stick to specifics. Defensiveness usually comes from feeling attacked personally. Bring it back to observable facts. "When clients wait fifteen minutes past their appointment time, it affects our reviews and reputation." That's not an opinion. That's just what's happening. Keep the focus there.

How do I handle drama between two stylists?

Don't let it spread. Talk to each person separately first to understand what's actually going on. Then make it clear that they don't have to be friends, but they absolutely have to be professional. Drama is a culture killer. Treat it like the emergency it is.

Is there ever a time to micromanage?

Only during initial training on something that has to be done a specific way. Like when you're teaching a new assistant your exact process for mixing color. Once they've proven they can do it right, back off. Micromanagement as a long-term strategy will empty your salon of anyone worth keeping.

How do I roll this out without my team thinking I've lost my mind?

Be honest with them. Call a meeting and say something like "I haven't been clear enough about expectations, and that's on me. If we're going to grow this salon and create real opportunities for everyone, we need more structure. This isn't about being corporate. It's about being professional so we can all win." Your good people will respect that. The ones who don't? They're probably the ones who need the structure most.

Stop Putting Out Fires and Start Leading

Here's the truth: you can't build a salon that gives you freedom if you're constantly trapped in drama and conflict. The fires you keep putting out are symptoms of a bigger issue. You're managing personalities instead of leading a team with systems.

Building accountability isn't about being harsh. It's about being clear. It's about setting standards high enough that your best people are proud to work with you and your weakest people either rise up or realize they don't belong.

That's how you stop being the most stressed-out, underpaid person in your own business. That's how you build something that actually works without you having to hold it all together every single day.

If you're done with the drama and ready to build a team that actually performs, apply for a coaching session and let's figure out what that looks like for your salon.

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